We celebrated Lily's third birthday last weekend. It was her biggest birthday bash yet. In attendance from her biological family: her mother and father (Fiona and Nate), grandmother, great-grandmother, great-grandfather, great-aunt, and three cousins (all from her mother's side of the family). From her adoptive family: her mother and father (G and me), grandmother, three aunts, two uncles, and two cousins. Lots of little friends came, too. The party was in our backyard and the weather was nice. Everyone mingled; everyone gazed at Lily in amazement; it was crystal clear that Lily is one loved little girl. And Lily loved everyone right back. While she may not understand how we are all connected, I believe that she does recognize in some way that she has connected us all. Lily has enriched our lives in more ways than any of us could have imagined.
Lily's birthday party also represented a day when (I think) a lot of people outside our open adoption began to understand how open adoption works. Families are formed in many different ways, and ours is no different.
As the adoptive parents, G and I had the responsibility of setting the tone for our open adoption. We opened our arms and our doors, and Lily's first family felt welcome to come in. It wasn't something that came naturally to us from the get-go, I admit that freely. But as Fiona helped Lily open all of her gifts while Fiona's mother wrote down who got her what and I took pictures, it felt just as natural - perhaps even MORE natural - than that type of event has felt with my own extended biological family.
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