Lily is going to be a big sister. This sibling will arrive via and be raised by Lily's first parents, Fiona and Nate. It will be their second child.
I believe I was the first person Fiona told about her pregnancy. She told me very early on, and she has kept me very well posted about her pregnancy. While I love Fiona and the closeness of our relationship, hearing the details of this pregnancy has been hard for me. For many reasons.
Of all the dynamics in open adoption, this is the one I've struggled with the most. While almost six years have passed since Fiona and Nate placed Lily with us, many of the circumstances that led them to place have not changed. I assumed Fiona and Nate would go on to have more children (either together or with other partners), but I always hoped that their life situations would be different than they were when Lily was born, giving Lily a clear understanding of why she was placed and her sibling(s) were not.
Lily knows about the baby, as does Ferb. Ferb is VERY excited. We've decided that he will be an honorary big brother to this baby. Lily has not shown much of a reaction to the baby - good or bad. She has suggested a few very cute baby names, and she grasps the concept that this will be her sibling, but this sibling will not live with us. When it comes to adoption-related issues, Lily is always very matter-of-fact about everything. I give her lots of room to share and express her feelings, but she says very little. Looking at her, I think she is processing, but it's just not something she wants to talk about. At least not now.
I haven't quite figured out what my relationship will be with this baby, this baby that may look very much like my daughter. I am worried for Fiona and Nate, and for their baby. I want so much for them to succeed as a family, and I wonder what if anything I should (or could) do to make that happen. I just don't know.
